


Not broken

by theflyinganonymouse



Category: VIXX
Genre: Adopted, Brothers, Everyone Has Issues, Family Feels, Gen, but they growing, kid vixx, sanghyuk is adorable
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 21:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse/pseuds/theflyinganonymouse
Summary: “Hello.” Sanghyuk says and his smile is wide and bright despite the way his knees are knocking together with nerves. “My name is Sanghyuk. I’m six years old and I just moved here with my mommy, daddy and five older brothers.”(Sanghyuk and his family move home and schools. It's a difficult adjustment but they get through it together, though not without some ups and downs.)





	Not broken

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this WIP has been in progress for months and months (maybe over a year?) and I finally thought the first chap was ready to be published. I'm still working on chap 2 but if know people are enjoying this then it might help me along with the writing process :)
> 
> This is set in the US. The boys are ranging between 6 (Sanghyuk) and 10 (Hakyeon). I've messed with their age gaps a little bit but nothing major. There's allusions to past child abuse but nothing is discussed in detail. Most of the boys have come from bad backgrounds and have issues that are touched upon (for example, disordered eating) so please keep that in mind while reading. There's also sickness and a little bit of self-harm. It sounds very heavy but I don't think it's a very serious/hugely angsty fic.

“Hello.” Sanghyuk says and his smile is wide and bright despite the way his knees are knocking together with nerves. “My name is Sanghyuk. I’m six years old and I just moved here with my mommy, daddy and five older brothers.”

Sanghyuk beams when he’s finished, proud of himself for remembering his little speech, and excitement bubbles in his tummy at the thought of telling Hakyeon. He knows his eldest brother is going to be so proud. 

“Everyone say hello to Sanghyuk.” The teacher says.

“Hello, Sanghyuk.” The class parrots, some more enthusiastically than others.

“Now, I want everyone to be extra nice to Sanghyuk, okay?” The teacher says and her sweet face is pulled into a frown. It reminds Sanghyuk of when his mommy is talking to Wonshikkie when he’s throwing one of his fits. “You all remember how scary your first day of school was, don’t you?”

“How come you have so many brothers?” One of the boys in the third row asks.

“Jack.” The teacher warns.

“Mommy and Daddy wanted us.” Sanghyuk shrugs. “They chose us all especially. We’re adopted and that means that Mommy and Daddy picked us because they love us very much.”

“We adopted a cat from the shelter.” A little girl says. “His old owner was bad so now he’s super mean and he scratches us when we try to stroke him.”

“I don’t like cats.” Sanghyuk tells her.

“Why don’t you take a seat?” The teacher points to the empty desk behind the boy who had called out earlier and Sanghyuk obediently walks over. It’s by the window which means that he gets a great view of the field behind the school. He can’t wait to tell his brothers- they’re going to be so jealous! “Your work books are in your desk, Sanghyuk. We might be ahead of where you were in your old school so don’t be afraid to let me know if you’re struggling to keep up, okay?”

They do math first which Sanghyuk is super good at so he doesn’t need any extra help, even if they’re adding together some really big numbers. Hongbin isn’t so good at math and Sanghyuk has helped him with his homework before, even though Hongbin is in the grade above. 

They have recess after that and Sanghyuk gets so caught up in playing with Jack and his action figures that he forgets to look for his brothers like he promised he would. He feels a little bit bad about that but then he gets distracted by the spelling test they do after recess. It’s really hard and Sanghyuk is certain he does terribly on it. He hopes his teacher doesn’t get mad. 

Hongbin and Wonshikkie are in the same class in the grade above Sanghyuk’s and their lunchtime is at the same time as his. He goes to sit with them, Jack trailing behind him, once he’s grabbed a tray of food. There’s a lady Sanghyuk has never seen before sat next to Wonshikkie and she’s eating a sandwich from a brown paper bag. He wonders if her mommy made that for her like his mommy sometimes used to make sandwiches for him to take with him when he went to his old school.

He sits next to Wonshik and stuffs a chicken nugget in his mouth, “hi. This is Jack. He’s in my class.”

“Hi.” Jack says.

“Where were you at recess?” Hongbin asks. “We looked for you but we couldn’t find you.”

“Wonshikkie got upset.” Jaehwan dumps his tray on the table, making them all jump and him grin.

“You have lunch now, too?” Sanghyuk asks.

Jaehwan is in the grade above Hongbin and Wonshikkie. Sanghyuk hadn’t expected to see him until home time.

“Yeah.” Jaehwan steals a carrot stick from Hongbin’s lunch tray despite having some on his own. “The big kids have their lunch after us.”

Sanghyuk nods. Hakyeon and Daeguni are big kids.

“Are these your brothers?” Jack asks. 

Sanghyuk nods and points at each of his brothers as he names them, “Jaehwan, Hongbin and Wonshikkie.”

“Why didn’t you find us at recess?” Wonshikkie asks. He looks upset. “I thought you got lost.”

“I was playing with Jack.” Sanghyuk explains.

He tells them about his friend’s action figures and his new teacher and the view from the window that he can see at his new desk.

Hongbin and Jaehwan listen to him with serious faces and both of them agree that they want to see Jack’s actions figures, too, but Wonshikkie stabs at his lunch with his fork and kicks his feet.

“Do you want to go outside for a little bit?” The lady asks him. Sanghyuk thinks she has a kind face. “We could go for a walk around the field.”

But that just makes Wonshikkie scream and push his lunch tray onto the floor.

Sanghyuk’s so used to Wonshik’s behaviour that he doesn’t even flinch but it makes Jack jump and drop his fork.

“What’s wrong with him?” He asks, his eyes wide.

“He just gets mad sometimes.” Sanghyuk shrugs. 

“Let’s go somewhere quiet.” Jaehwan suggests and he wraps his hand around Wonshikkie’s wrist and tugs him to his feet. “It’s too noisy in here.”

“I hate it.” Wonshikkie stamps his feet and tries to yank his arm free. “I hate this new school. It’s stupid.”

Jaehwan ignores him and pulls him out of the cafeteria, throwing one last longing look at his lunch tray. 

“Who is that lady?” Sanghyuk asks, watching as she follows them from the room.

“His special helper.” Hongbin tells him.

“Oh.” He says and he doesn’t ask anymore questions. He’d heard their parents talk a lot about Wonshikkie needing a special helper for school and he knows it’s one of the reasons they’d moved here- their school had special helpers. It’s a lot closer to the special doctor that all his brothers except Hakyeon have to go to, too. Sanghyuk doesn’t have to go either. Mommy says its because he doesn’t have any bad memories of the mommy and daddy he’d had before. 

“Help me clean up Wonshikkie’s tray.” Hongbin says.

Sanghyuk grumbles but he does as he’s told because he’s a good little brother.

“Wonshikkie is scary.” Jack whispers into Sanghyuk’s ear when they’re putting away their lunch trays once they’re finished eating.

“He’s not.” Sanghyuk tells him. “His old mommy and daddy were mean to him and it’s made him mad.”

“Did your mommy and daddy get him from a shelter?” Jack asks. 

Sanghyuk shrugs, “I don’t know.”

“Let’s go play.” Jack suggests. “I can show Hongbin my action figures.”

They do arts and crafts in the afternoon and Sanghyuk gets glue all over his fingers and his t-shirt. He knows his mommy is going to be mad because his t-shirt is new. He cleans it up as best as he can but he doesn’t think he does a good job.

But Mommy doesn’t get mad though.

She’s already waiting for him outside when the bell goes. She has a red face Wonshikkie balanced on one hip even though she’s told them all before that they’re all far too big for her to carry anymore.

“Did you have a good day, sweetheart?” She asks, running her hand through his hair while they wait for the others.

“Is Wonshikkie okay?” He asks instead of answering. It looks like he’s been crying.

“He’s fine.” Mommy says. “He’s just had a hard first day.”

“I made a friend.” He tells her, satisfied with her answer. Wonshikkie has a lot of hard days. “His name is Jack. He’s in my class and he has these really cool-.”

“Mom!”

It’s Jaehwan.

Sanghyuk scowls at him but he gets ignored. It makes him mad and he stomps his feet.

“Did you get called in?” Jaehwan asks. “When?”

“I was telling a story!” Sanghyuk complains.

“Only a little while ago.” She answers and Sanghyuk wants to lash out like he’s seen Wonshikkie do a hundred times before. He hates being ignored. “But everything’s okay. How did your first day go? Sanghyuk- don’t pull that face, sweetheart. What if the wind changes? Do you want it to get stuck like that?”

“I was telling a story.” He repeats sullenly.

“Was it about your friend’s toys?” Jaehwan teases.

“They’re really cool!”

Hongbin arrives then and, before Mommy can even ask how his day was, Hakyeon and Daeguni appear.

“Hey, squirt.” Hakyeon throws his arm around Sanghyuk’s shoulders and musses his hair. “Did you miss me?”

“I’m going to be taller than you one day.” Sanghyuk warns him though he makes no attempt to get away. “You should be nicer to me.”

“You’re always going to be my little brother, no matter how tall you get.” Hakyeon reminds him.

This time Sanghyuk does push him away and out of the corner of his eye he sees Daeguni duck away from their mommy’s outstretched hand.

“You look warm.” He hears her say. “Are you feeling okay, Taekwoon?”

Sanghyuk doesn’t know why she bothers asking- everyone knows that Daeguni doesn’t talk to grown-ups.

“Race you to the car!” Hongbin calls, already sprinting in the direction of the parking lot.

“Hey!” Sanghyuk shouts, immediately setting off after him. “That’s no fair!”

Hakyeon and Jaehwan run after them and Sanghyuk squeals when Hakyeon grabs him around the waist and lifts him up in the air. He kicks his feet and demands to be put down.

“Nope!” Hakyeon spins him in a circle instead.

“Hongbin, Jaehwan!” Mommy shouts just as Hakyeon dumps Sanghyuk on the floor. “Stop right where you are!”

They don’t listen and Sanghyuk hears Mommy suck in a deep breath when they run straight into the path of a reversing car. The car jolts to a stop and misses them but they don’t even notice, too intent on reaching Mommy’s blue minivan. 

Hongbin throws up his hands and lets out a shout of victory, tugging on the door handle to get in, but Sanghyuk can tell from the look on Mommy’s face that he is in a whole heap of trouble. He’s kind of glad that Hakyeon had grabbed him when he had. 

Sanghyuk immediately crawls into the back of the minivan with Wonshikkie when they reach it and they thumb wrestle. Hakyeon climbs into the front and he turns the radio way up so that they can’t hear anything that’s going on outside. Sanghyuk knows that Hongbin and Jaehwan are in trouble with their mommy.  

They get through four matches before the door in front of Sanghyuk opens and the others get in. Hongbin looks like he’s trying not to cry as he squeezes into the seat between Sanghyuk and Wonshikkie and Jaehwan is pale and quiet. Daeguni takes the seat behind Mommy and glares at her, his shoulders hunched, and Sanghyuk knows he’s mad at her for telling Hongbin and Jaehwan off. 

There’s a couple of hours before dinner – they have to wait for Daddy to get home first – so Mommy has them do their homework.  They sit around the big table in the dining room like they used to at their old house and they sit in silence as they work. It doesn’t feel right to Sanghyuk. This dining room is bigger than their old one and the walls are an ugly green and the windows don’t face the backyard. It makes him miss home. 

Sanghyuk starts to cry halfway through adding two numbers together.

Hakyeon immediately ditches his homework and pulls Sanghyuk into a big hug instead, “what’s wrong, Hyukkie?”

“I don’t like it here.” Sanghyuk sobs. “I want to go home!” 

“This  _ is _ home.” Hakyeon tells him.

“I don’t like it!” Sanghyuk wails. 

This, of course, attracts Mommy’s attention and she comes rushing in from the kitchen to see what’s going on. She isn’t as sympathetic as Hakyeon but Sanghyuk does get a kiss and a little bit of a cuddle before being told to get on with his homework. 

Hongbin is the first to finish and he goes and hides in his room once Mommy’s checked he’s answered all the questions on his work sheet. She lets Wonshikkie go, too, even if he hasn’t even started his homework. It makes Sanghyuk cry a little bit more until, at last, he finishes his last question and can go play. 

He kicks a ball around in the backyard for a while before getting bored and instead goes in search of one of his brothers. He finds Wonshikkie curled up under a blanket in the den watching cartoons. Sanghyuk throws himself down on the other end of the sofa and lets himself get caught up with what’s going on on the television screen, occasionally kicking Wonshikkie’s feet away when they get too close to his own.

His stomach is rumbling loudly by the time they hear the front door being pushed open and both he and Wonshikkie scrabble to their feet.

“Daddy’s home!” Sanghyuk shouts. 

They sprint into the entrance hall and throw themselves at Daddy who has to drop his briefcase so that he can catch them.

“You boys are getting too big for me to carry.” He complains but he heaves them up onto his hips anyway and delivers scratchy kisses. “Where are your brothers?”

“Dunno.” Sanghyuk shrugs. “Playing.”

Wonshikkie wraps his arms around Daddy’s neck and burrows his nose into the collar of his shirt.

“Are you sleepy, Wonshikkie?”

“He had a bad day.” Sanghyuk whispers into Daddy’s ear.

“I hate school.” Wonshikkie mutters.

“No, you don’t. It’s just new. You’ll like it when you get used to it.” Daddy says.

“No, I won’t.” Wonshikkie says and Sanghyuk agrees. Wonshikkie  _ hates _ school.

Daddy just shakes his head, “we’ll see.”

He carries them into the kitchen where Hakyeon is sat on the counter, kicking his feet and chatting away, as he watches Mommy get something out of the oven.

“I’m hungry.” Sanghyuk whines, his stomach rumbling loudly at the smell of dinner.

“You’re late.” Mommy says as Daddy swoops in to give her a kiss on the cheek. “You were meant to be home half an hour ago.”

“The traffic on the interstate was unbelievable.” He tells her and he leans closer to Mommy so Sanghyuk and Wonshikkie can give her kisses, too. Wonshikkie shakes his head and tries to get away so Sanghyuk gives her two big kisses on each cheek to make up for it. “There’d been an accident.”

Daddy sets Sanghyuk and Wonshikkie down and gives Hakyeon a quick hug and ruffles his hair, “why don’t you guys go rustle up your brothers?”

“Is dinner nearly ready?” Sanghyuk asks.

“Five minutes.” Mommy promises.

“I’ll go get Jaehwan and Hongbin.” Hakyeon says. “Wonshikkie, Sanghyuk why don’t you start setting the table? I’ll help when I come back down.”

Sanghyuk scowls because he hates setting the table but he goes to the cutlery drawer anyway and he and Wonshikkie start counting out knives and forks and spoons. Daddy gets eight plates and eight glasses out from the cupboard and sets them on the side so that they can reach them. 

Daeguni is still sat at the table in the dining room with his homework sat in front of him.

“Have you not finished yet?” Sanghyuk asks as he dumps the cutlery he’s carrying onto the table. “I was finished  _ ages _ ago.”

“He’s dumb.” Wonshik says and Daeguni hits him on the arm hard enough to make him cry.

“I’m not.” Daeguni says so quietly that Sanghyuk thinks he might have imagined it. “I’m not dumb.”

Sanghyuk doesn’t hang around to see what happens next and instead sprints back in the direction of the kitchen, calling for their parents, a sobbing Wonshik trailing behind him.

“What happened?” Daddy asks as he picks Wonshikkie up and gives him a cuddle.

“Daeguni hit him!” Sanghyuk immediately tells him because he knows that hitting is bad and that they should never do it. “He hit him really hard.”

Mommy sighs and gives Daddy a look, “he hasn’t done his homework either.”

“I’ll have a word with him.” Daddy says as Sanghyuk watches Hakyeon, Jaehwan and Hongbin come into the kitchen.

“Have a word with who?” Hakyeon asks and Sanghyuk thinks both Jaehwan and Hongbin’s faces look funny, like they do sometimes when they’re watching scary movies. “What’s wrong with Wonshikkie?” 

“Never you mind.” Mommy says. “Has the table been set yet?”

Sanghyuk helps Hakyeon, Jaehwan and Hongbin set the table. Wonshikkie is still crying so he doesn’t have to help and Daeguni is sat as still as a statue at the table, his shoulders hunched and his face pale, and he won’t help no matter how much anyone asks him to. He doesn’t even move when Sanghyuk puts a plate down on top of his blank homework sheet. 

Dinner is lasagne with potato wedges and garlic bread and salad. Mommy cuts up the lasagne and puts a portion on everyone’s plate while Daddy makes sure that they all take some salad from the big bowl that gets passed around as he fills their glasses with soda. They’re only allowed soda with dinner and Sanghyuk looks forward to it every night. He likes how the bubbles feel on his tongue and in his tummy. 

“What’s your new school like?” Daddy asks. He’s putting salad on Daeguni’s plate because he won’t do it himself. “Do you like it?”

“It’s really big!” Hakyeon says. “There are two classes per grade so they have to split up lunch time. Me and-.”

“Mommy already told us that.” Sanghyuk interrupts, mid-chew. “She told us before we started so Daddy must already know, too.” 

“Sanghyuk, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Mommy tells him. 

“There are lots of pictures in the corridors and my teacher said that we’d get to have some of our drawings put up, too, when we’ve made some.” Hakyeon continues on. He likes to talk a lot which is good because sometimes the rest of Sanghyuk’s brothers can be really quiet. Even Jaehwan can be quiet when he’s sad or when he’s eating a lot like he is now. “I already know what I want to draw! My teacher said I might be able to use some paints, too, if I’m good.”

“There’s a big field behind the school.” Sanghyuk says after swallowing his mouthful, smug smile fixed in place. “And I can see it from my seat! How cool is that? This afternoon there was another class doing gym outside and I could see them even though I was doing arts and crafts.”

“Jaehwan, sweetheart,” Daddy says, his voice soft in the way that it is sometimes when one of them is feeling Bad, “you don’t have to eat so quickly. No one is going to take your dinner away from you.”

“Mommy’s mad at us.” Hongbin tells Daddy. He’s always liked Daddy more than Mommy and Sanghyuk knows it makes her sad sometimes. “She shouted at us.”

“I didn’t shout at you. You two did something silly and dangerous and I told you not to do it again because you could have been hurt.” Mommy says and Sanghyuk sees that she’s frowning. He wonders if she’s upset. “I didn’t get mad but I’m sorry if you think that. You frightened me, I thought you were going to get hurt.”

“She shouted at us.” Hongbin says again and he looks ready to cry again. “She said she was going to hit us and lock us up in the cupboard until morning.”

“Mommy wouldn’t say that.” Wonshikkie scowls. He loves Mommy almost as much as Sanghyuk does even if he doesn’t always want to give her kisses. “Mommy would never hurt any of us.”

Sanghyuk nods. Everyone knows that sometimes Hongbin lies. It’s just how he is. 

“What happened?” Daddy asks.

“They were racing each other back to the minivan and they ran in front of a reversing car- the driver had to slam the brakes on.” Mommy explains. She puts her knife and fork down and reaches out to run her fingers through Jaehwan’s dark hair in the way that Sanghyuk always really likes. “Jaehwan, my love, slow down or else you’re going to make yourself sick.”

“Mommy’s not mad and no one’s in trouble.” Hakyeon says. 

Jaehwan shakes his head, “she told Daddy to have a word with us. I heard her!”

“She was talking about Daeguni.” Sanghyuk rolls his eyes. “He didn’t do his homework and he hit Wonshikkie really, really hard.”

“My arm hurts still.” Wonshikkie glares at Daeguni but Daeguni is just staring down at his plate. Sanghyuk thinks he’s only eaten a couple of mouthfuls of his dinner. 

“Jaehwan, Hongbin, you’re not in trouble.” Mommy says. “You did something bad, you said you were sorry and now we move on from it, okay?”

“She said she was going to hit us with a stick!” Hongbin insists.

“You’re such a liar!” Wonshikkie shouts, slamming his fists down on the table. “Why do you always lie?”

“Is it because Mommy and Daddy got you from a shelter?” Sanghyuk asks, remembering what had been said that morning at school. “A girl in my class said that they got a cat from the shelter and that he was really mean because his old owners were mean to him. Is that why Hongbin lies and Wonshikkie gets mad and Daeguni-?”

Daeguni drops his fork onto the floor and slips from his chair.

“Taekwoon!” Daddy calls but he’s already disappeared from the room. 

“Do you want-?” Hakyeon starts to ask but then Jaehwan is sick everywhere. 

“Eww!” Sanghyuk shouts. He grabs his plate and holds it to his chest, accidentally sending half of his salad and wedges flying. He doesn’t want any of Jaehwan’s sick to get on his food even if his brother is sat at the opposite end of the table. “That’s gross!”

Mommy helps them carry their plates and glasses of soda into the den while Daddy cleans Jaehwan and the table up and they eat the rest of their dinner while watching TV. It’s a treat to do this on a weekday, they only ever eat in front of the TV on a Saturday night when they have pizza or some other kind of takeout. Saturday night is Mommy’s rest night. 

Jaehwan eats the rest of his dinner sat squished into the same armchair as Mommy and she strokes his hair and kisses his head. He looks happier even if his cheeks are a little flushed. 

“Where did Daeguni go?” Sanghyuk asks once he’s cleared his plate and he realises his quietest brother is still missing. “His dinner will be cold.”

“He’ll be hiding under his bed again.” Hongbin says. He’s sat on the floor, back against one of Daddy’s legs, and his eyes are all red. Sanghyuk doesn’t remember seeing him cry but maybe he had after Jaehwan had been sick. “Or in his closet.”

“We’ll look for him when we’ve all finished eating.” Daddy says. “He won’t have gone very far.”

Sanghyuk jigs his legs as he waits. Hakyeon and Wonshikkie are slow eaters so it’s  _ ages _ before they’re done. 

Mommy takes their empty plates and glasses back into the kitchen while Daddy goes upstairs with Hakyeon and Hongbin. Jaehwan and Wonshikkie search the downstairs and Sanghyuk volunteers to look in the yard, thinking that he might be able to convince one of his brothers to play soccer with him if they have to come looking for him outside after they’ve found Daeguni. 

He makes a show of looking through the backyard, walking a full circle around the trunk of the tree and digging through the bushes, just in case Mommy looks out of the kitchen window. He calls Daeguni’s name but, just as he expected, he doesn’t get any response. 

He gives up and he starts kicking the ball around again. He knows it won’t be long before one of the others comes outside now because there are only so many places to look inside the house. 

He kicks the ball a little bit too hard and it hits the tree and then smashes into the fence that separates their yard from their neighbour’s and that’s when he sees it- a scrap of fabric the same red as Daeguni’s t-shirt caught on a nail. 

There’s treestump over by that bit of the fence but Sanghyuk isn’t really tall enough to see over even when he’s stood on it. He jumps up and holds onto the top of the fence and his feet scrape desperately against the wood, looking for purchase, and he manages to hold himself up long enough to see into their neighbour’s yard. 

It looks a lot like their yard, just maybe a little bit neater and without the tree, and Sanghyuk is a little bit disappointed. He had expected something more exciting. Daeguni’s in there, though, laid on his side in the grass. There’s a dog spread out on the ground next to him, its face only inches from Daeguni’s, and its eyes are closed even if its ears keep twitching. Daeguni’s fingers are twisted in its golden fur and his lips are moving but Sanghyuk can’t hear anything he’s saying. 

“Daeguni!” Sanghyuk shouts and he feels suddenly worried. What if their neighbour is bad? What if they get angry at Daeguni for being in their yard and for touching their dog? “Get out of there! You’re going to get in trouble- it’s bad to be in there!”

Daeguni doesn’t act like he’s heard him and when Sanghyuk jumps up to look at him again, having fallen down, he sees Daeguni hasn’t moved at all. 

“Daeguni!” Sanghyuk shouts again and again he doesn’t get any kind of response. He gets scared. What if Daeguni hurt himself climbing over the fence or their neighbour hurt him for being in their yard?

He starts crying and he runs into the kitchen to find Mommy. She always knows how to make things better, no matter what Hongbin says. 

“Mommy!” He sobs. “Mommy!”

He throws himself at her and she kneels down on the floor so she can hug him against her chest, “what’s wrong, baby? Why are you crying?”

“We can’t find Taekwoon!” Hakyeon shouts, bursting into the kitchen. Daddy and the others following closely behind. “We’ve looked everywhere! He’s not under his bed or in anyone’s closet- he’s missing!”

“I’ll phone the police.” Daddy says. “Hopefully he won’t have gotten far.”

“He’s not missing!” Sanghyuk wails, fists bunched in Mommy’s blouse. “He’s hurt! He’s with the dog and he didn’t answer me even though I shouted at him!”

“The neighbour’s dog?” Mommy asks. 

Sanghyuk nods. 

Mommy picks him up and carries him into the yard. He feels a bit better now even if he is still frightened. Mommy and Daddy are there and they’re going to make everything okay. 

“I can’t see!” Hongbin complains when they get to the fence. 

Sanghyuk can but only just. 

“Taekwoon.” Daddy calls and the dog lifts its head to look at him, its tail wagging lazily. “Taekwoon? Are you okay?”

Daeguni ignores him. 

“This is what he was doing to me!” Sanghyuk tells Mommy. 

“Did you hurt yourself?” Daddy asks. 

Daeguni shifts closer to the dog and buries his face in its fur. 

“Taekwoon?” Mommy tries. “Are you okay? Do you need one of us to come get you?”

The neighbour’s back door opens then and a a man steps out onto the porch. He looks old, at least as old as their grandpa, but Sanghyuk doesn’t think he looks mean. He hopes this means that Daeguni won’t get into trouble. The dog jumps to its feet, tail wagging, and goes over to him. It’s a fat dog, Sanghyuk can’t help but notice. He thinks it makes it look cute.

“Good girl, Jess.” The man strokes her head and she licks his hand. He smiles at Mommy and Daddy and nods down at Daeguni. “Is this your boy?”

“Yes.” Daddy says. “We’re so sorry to bother you, he must have climbed over the fence.”

“I’ve been watching from the kitchen window and he hasn’t been a bother at all. He’s been very sweet with Jess- she warmed straight up to him.” The old man says. 

“I want to play with the doggy!” Wonshikkie shouts. 

Hakyeon pulls himself up to sit on the fence, “can we come play with Jess?”

“We’ll be good!” Hongbin calls over the fence.

“We’ve disturbed the gentleman enough for today.” Daddy says. 

“Can we play with Jess tomorrow?” Sanghyuk asks the old man. “It’s not fair that Daeguni gets to play with her today and we don’t get to play with her at all.”

“Sanghyuk.” Mommy says in that tone of voice she uses to warn them when they’re being rude.

Sanghyuk expects the old man to tell him off but he doesn’t, he just laughs. 

“Another time, perhaps?” He says. “Jess is expecting, due any day now, and I don’t want her getting too worked up.”

“Expecting what?” Sanghyuk asks. 

No one answers him. Daddy walks around to the old man’s house and he lets him through the big gate and into the backyard so he can get Daeguni. He lifts him up and carries him like a baby and Daeguni doesn’t even try to get away. Normally Daeguni would be kicking and screaming and trying to escape. He hates it when grown-ups touch him. 

“He feels warm.” Daddy says when they’re back in the house. 

“Maybe he’s getting sick.” Mommy says. 

“Can we have desert now?” Sanghyuk asks. He knows that there’s chocolate ice cream in the freezer and he wants some. “I’m still hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” Mommy smiles. To Daddy she says, “put Taekwoon to bed, see if he’ll take any of the tylenol- I’ll sort the others out.”

They go into the kitchen and Mommy has them sit at the breakfast bar while she gets out bowls and spoons and bottles of sauce and sprinkles. 

“I want chocolate!” Sanghyuk calls as she digs around in the freezer. 

“Is there any strawberry, Mom?” Hakyeon asks. “Or did we eat it all last week?”

“I want strawberry, too.” Sanghyuk says. He had forgotten about the strawberry ice cream. 

“There’s chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and butterscotch.” Mommy tells them as she pulls out the tubs from the freezer. “What does everyone want?”

Sanghyuk has a big bowl full of chocolate and strawberry and butterscotch, too, and he puts loads of sprinkles and chocolate sauce on his scoops of ice cream. He eats all of it, except for what he gets on his face, and Mommy and the others laugh at him for making such a mess. 

“Wonshikkie made a mess, too!” He says when the teasing starts to hurt his feelings. They’re not being mean but Sanghyuk doesn’t like being the butt of the joke. “And Hongbin! He has some sauce on his nose!”

It’s true. Wonshikkie has chocolate all around his mouth and Hongbin has a blob of strawberry sauce right on the tip of his nose. 

“How do little boys always manage to get so dirty?” Mommy teases them. She’s smiling so they know that she isn’t mad. 

“You spilled some on your shirt.” Hongbin tells her. “It’s on your belly.” 

There’s a patch of chocolate ice cream on Mommy’s blouse, right on her tummy, and she laughs at it as she tries to wipe herself clean with a cloth.

“Silly Mommy.” She says. “How did she manage to get herself so dirty?”

They watch some television and then it’s bath time after that. Sanghyuk shares his bath with Hongbin like he always does- they’re the first to go into the bathroom always and Sanghyuk likes it like that because that means he gets to go back into the living room before anyone else, dressed all snug in his pyjamas and his robe, and he gets to drink warm milk from his favourite mug. Sometimes there’s even time for a cuddle with Mommy before Wonshikkie is done with his bath. There isn’t tonight but Mommy runs her fingers through his hair every time she walks passed the sofa and it makes him feel warm all over. 

Wonshikkie falls asleep on the sofa before he can finish his milk so Sanghyuk and Hongbin drink it quickly before Jaehwan comes downstairs and tries to claim it for himself. Jaehwan pouts and pulls faces when he realises what they’ve done but he’s not really mad because Mommy gives him his warm milk in his own special mug that is just his and no else’s. No one else is allowed to use it- not even Mommy and Daddy even though they bought it. 

“It has a ‘J’ on it so that means that it’s mine.” He says as he always does. 

It’s bedtime for the youngest three before Hakyeon is finished with his shower. Daddy carries Wonshikkie up the stairs and puts him to bed before coming into Sanghyuk’s bedroom to read to him. Mommy always reads to Woshikkie (when he’s awake) and Hongbin (when he wants to be read to) but Sanghyuk always gets Daddy. It’s their special time together and he likes it a lot even if Daddy isn’t as good at doing voices as Mommy is. Sanghyuk isn’t all that sleepy, not at first, so they read nearly a whole chapter before Sanghyuk finally manages to nod off.

Sanghyuk’s door is still ajar when he wakes up. Normally when Sanghyuk wakes up during the night, it’s because of a nightmare and he always gets frightened because it’s dark and his door is closed and his nightlight is on because Mommy and Daddy always close his door and turn his nightlight on before they go to bed. He knows they can’t have come upstairs just yet because the light in the hallway is still on. He wonders why he’s awake. He was having such a good dream even though he can’t remember it now. Maybe one of the others is awake? 

He strains his ears to listen. 

There’s a strange shuffling noise coming from in the hallway. It’s not very loud but he knows it has to have been what woke him up. Sanghyuk is a light sleeper and he always wakes up when there are strange sounds- he’s always one of the first to wake up when Wonshikkie is having a nightmare or Daeguni is sleep walking. He thinks it kind of sounds like it does when Daeguni is sleep walking so he gets out of bed and pads over to the door. He knows he should get Mommy or Daddy so that they can put him back to bed before he gets himself into any kind of trouble.

The light in the hallway is bright and it makes Sanghyuk’s eyes hurt. He squints until his eyes adjust. It doesn’t take very long. 

Just like he thought, Daeguni is in the hallway though he doesn’t look like he’s sleep walking at all. He has his duvet and his bedsheets all wadded up in his arms and he’s shuffling toward the bathroom, curled up on himself like some kind of ball with legs. Sanghyuk would think it was funny if the whole hallway didn’t stink of sick. 

“Daeguni!” Sanghyuk hisses. “What are you doing?” 

Daeguni’s face is all red and sweaty and his hair is wet and sticking to his forehead. He looks gross. Sanghyuk even thinks he can see sick stuck to his chin. 

“Go back to bed.” Daeguni whispers. He looks frightened. “They’re going to get mad.”

Sanghyuk ignores him and steps out into the hallway, “have you thrown up? Do you want me to go get Mommy?”

Mommy always helps to make him feel better when he’s been sick.

Daeguni shakes his head and then lets out a little whimper. He stops his shuffling and the sheets and duvet fall on the floor as Daeguni clutches his stomach. 

“Does your tummy hurt?” Sanghyuk asks. Sometimes he gets bad tummy ache when he eats too much but Daeguni didn’t even finish his dinner.  

Daeguni sniffs and bites his bottom lip. He’s shaking even though its not cold in the hallway. 

“You’re sick.” Sanghyuk says. “Let me go get Mommy.”

“Don’t, Hyukkie, they’re going to get mad because I threw up. I need to wash the sheets before they find out. I don’t want them to get mad.” 

“They’re not going to get mad.” Sanghyuk says with a frown. “Jaehwan threw up at dinner and he still got ice cream for dessert.” 

“They always get mad.” Daeguni says and then he freezes.

There are footsteps coming up the stairs. 

“Is someone awake?” It’s Daddy. 

Daeguni eyes get wide and his shaking gets worse, “run, Hyukkie.”

Sanghyuk shakes his head. He knows he’ll be in a little bit of trouble for being out of bed but Mommy and Daddy never get too mad when they realise it’s because he wanted to help one of his brothers. 

“Daddy?” Sanghyuk calls. “Daddy, Daeguni is sick!”

Daeguni scrabbles to pick up his duvet and his bedsheets but he’s shaking so badly he just can’t get them all. Sanghyuk thinks about helping but he can see that they’re covered in sick and he doesn’t want to touch them. Sick is gross. 

“Taekwoon?” Daddy is with them in the hallway now. He looks worried. “What’s wrong?”

“He threw up! And his tummy is hurting him.” Sanghyuk answers for his brother because he knows Daeguni won’t speak for himself. “He thinks you’re going to get mad.”

“I’m not going to get mad at you for being poorly.” Daddy says. He steps closer, slowly, slowly, but Sanghyuk still sees Taekwoon flinch and crouch down against the wall, trying to make himself small. Sanghyuk doesn’t know why but it makes his heart hurt. “How about you let me take those sheets and I’ll put them in the wash? Then we can see about getting you some medicine.” 

“You want to feel better, don’t you?” Sanghyuk asks. “Daddy can get you some special medicine that’ll help make you feel better. It won’t hurt even if it does taste yucky.”

Daeguni shakes his head. 

He shakes it and he shakes it and Sanghyuk thinks it’s an accident when he hits it against the wall but then he does it again and again and again. 

“Go get Mommy.” Daddy says, his face unusually serious. He drops to his knees in front of Daeguni and pulls him onto his lap and it makes Daeguni  _ scream _ . “Sanghyuk, go get Mommy.” 

Sanghyuk is sobbing as he sprints to the stairs and he gets halfway down before Mommy appears at the bottom. Her eyes are wide as she takes the steps two at a time to get to him.

“What happened?” She asks, ushering Sanghyuk back up the stairs. 

“Daeguni.” Sanghyuk sobs, not able to say anymore than that. He doesn’t understand what’s wrong or what’s happening. It doesn’t make any kind of sense to him. Why would he hit his head like that? Sanghyuk thinks he saw  _ blood  _ and that’s really bad. “He- he-!” 

“Okay.” Mommy says and she carries him up the last couple of stairs because he’s not moving quickly enough. 

The others are awake now, huddled together in front of Hakyeon’s bedroom door, and they watch what’s happening with scared faces. Mommy sets Sanghyuk down next to Hakyeon and he immediately pulls Sanghyuk into a warm hug. It’s not enough to make Sanghyuk feel better like it normally is. 

“What happened?” Mommy asks, sitting on the floor with Daddy and Daeguni. She doesn’t try to touch him but Daeguni still screams and screams and screams. He tries to scratch at his face with his hands but Daddy holds his hands away from his face so he can’t. “Is he okay? What set him off?” 

“He’s burning up.” Daddy says. He wraps his arms around Daeguni’s chest and pins his arms to his sides and Dauguni twists and kicks and tries to get away. “He’s sweated through his pyjamas and he’s been sick. I think he needs the hospital.” 

Wonshikkie gasps and Sanghyuk sees him ball his hands into fists even though his eyes are all blurry because he’s crying so much. 

“No hospital.” He says. 

“I’ll call my mom to come watch the boys and then I’ll meet you there.” Mommy says. “I’m not going to be able to carry him so you’re going to have to take him.” 

“No hospital!” Wonshikkie shouts and he stomps his feet and swings his fists. Hakyeon tugs Sanghyuk out of the way just in time so he doesn’t get hit. “No hospital! No hospital! No hospital!” 

“Wonshikkie…” Mommy says. “Taekwoon is sick, he needs to see a doctor.”

“No hospital!” Wonshikkie shouts again just as Daeguni is sick all down his front and on Daddy’s arms. Wonshikkie starts to scream.

Hakyeon takes Sanghyuk’s hand, “come on, let’s go downstairs and watch cartoons.”

Hakyeon leads them down into the den and he puts on the TV. Hongbin and Jaehwan sit on either side of Sanghyuk and they fight over the blanket as Hakyeon turns up the sound so they can hardly hear the noise that Daeguni and Wonshikkie are making. 

“Are they going to be okay?” Sanghyuk asks, sniffling. 

“Of course.” Hakyeon says. Mommy’s cell phone is on the coffee table and he picks it up. They all know how to use it- Mommy and Daddy had taught them for in case of emergencies. Sanghyuk has never had to use it before. “I’m going to call Grandma.”

“Ask her to bring candy.” Sanghyuk says with another sniff. Grandma always has the best candy. 

“It’s too late for candy.” Hongbin says with a yawn, his eyes glued to the television. 

“It’s never too late for candy.” Jaehwan argues. “Tell her to bring some.”

Hakyeon fiddles with the phone for a couple of minutes before holding it up to his ear. Sanghyuk is distracted by the television so he only half listens to the conversation that Hakyeon is having. He does hear him ask Grandma to bring candy with her which makes Sanghyuk feel a bit better. He still feels very upset about what had happened with Daeguni and Wonshikkie. 

Hakyeon sits on the sofa, too, once he’s done and he fights for his bit of the blanket. They watch cartoons quietly for a long time and Sanghyuk is nearly asleep when Mommy comes into the living with Wonshikkie. He’s bundled up in his own blanket and he’s sniffling but he’s not screaming anymore so Sanghyuk thinks that he must be feeling better. She puts him down on the sofa next to Hakyeon and they all have to budge up to make room. 

“I’ve got to help Daddy put Taekwoon in the car but I’ll be right back after that, okay?” She says. 

“I want more warm milk.” Jaehwan tells her. 

She ruffles his hair as she walks past the back of the sofa and Sanghyuk feels sad. He wants Mommy to ruffle his hair, too. 

“We’ll see.” She says. 

Mommy isn’t gone for long and when she comes back she gives them all kisses on the top of the head and she tells them that she loves them. Hakyeon gets extra kisses when he tells her that he’s already called Grandma and that she’s on her way. Sanghyuk is only a little bit jealous. 

Hongbin and Wonshikkie and Jaehwan are already asleep by the time that Grandma arrives. She gives everyone kisses on the top of the head anyway, just like Mommy had, and then her and Mommy go into the kitchen to talk.

“She didn’t give us any candy.” Sanghyuk whispers. He doesn’t feel very sleepy anymore and he doesn’t understand how his brothers could have fallen asleep before getting any candy. Especially Jaehwan. “It’s not too late to eat some.”

Hakyeon yawns, “it is, Hyukkie. It’s nearly eleven o’clock.” 

Sanghyuk knows that eleven o’clock is very, very late because he’s never awake at this time except on new year’s eve when he’s allowed to stay up until a quarter past midnight. He remembers how tired he was this new year’s eve and how Daddy had had to carry him up to bed. He doesn’t feel tired like that now.

He wriggles down underneath the blanket, being very careful not to wake Jaehwan and Hongbin, and onto the floor. 

“I’m going to go ask for some.” He tells Hakyeon once he’s stood upright.

“Okay.” Hakyeon says with a yawn. “But don’t get upset when they tell you it’s too late.”

“I won’t.” Sanghyuk says but he already feels a little bit upset at the idea. He really wants some candy. 

He’s very quiet as he leaves the den because he doesn’t want to wake anyone and have to share the candy he knows Grandma is going to give him. He tiptoes down the hall and to the kitchen door. It’s open just a little bit and Sanghyuk can hear Mommy and Grandma talking inside. He pauses, hand on the door handle, when he hears Grandma say his name even though she’s not talking to him. It’s bad to listen in on conversations like this, he knows, but he decides to do it anyway. He’s very curious. 

“Do you think it’s fair on Sanghyuk?” Grandma says. “He’s so little still and he’s such a good boy. Have you thought about what this is doing to him?” 

“Of course we have. David and I discussed-.”

“And what about Hakyeon? He’s only ten but he sounded like such a grown up when he called me. Have you thought about the effect this is having on him? And on Jaehwan and Hongbin, too- on their recovery?” Grandma asks. “The boys were all so settled at their old school.”

“And they’ll settle at this one, too, Mom. I know my sons, I know they’re going to be okay. They’re so much stronger than you will ever give them credit for.” Mommy says and Sanghyuk thinks she sounds mad.

“But that’s my point- they shouldn’t have to be strong. They’re children, Hayoung. How can you justify putting them through the stress of adding two new kids to the family so close together? You got Taekwoon out of the blue and then you took in Wonshik just a couple of months later. They’re both so damaged and have such complex issues, that’s going to have a negative effect on the other boys. And then moving towns and schools-.”

“To go to a better school that will understand all their needs much better than the one they were at.” Mommy interrupts. Sanghyuk starts to get teary eyed. He doesn’t really understand why Mommy and Grandma are fighting or even half of what they’re fighting about but it’s upsetting. He doesn’t think that he’s ever heard Mommy sound so mad. “The next few weeks are going to be hard. I know that. David knows that. You know that because we’ve told you. We told you our reason for moving and you promised you would help. So why are you jumping down my throat when we reach out and ask for help? You don’t approve of our decisions to adopt Taekwoon and Wonshik. I get it. You’ve told me a hundred times before. But, whether you like it or not, they are my sons and one of them is sick and terrified out of his mind and-.” 

Mommy starts to cry. 

Sanghyuk’s tummy twists. He’s never seen Mommy cry before. He didn’t think grown ups cried.

“I love you, Hayoung, you’re my daughter in every way but blood. I have supported you through everything you have done and you know I will continue to do so until the day I take my last breath.” Grandma says. “I know why you took Taekwoon and Wonshik in. I know how big your heart is and how much love you have to give but I can’t help but feel like you made a mistake with them. They’re too broken to fix, even for you.”

Sanghyuk knows that Daeguni and Wonshikkie are not broken. Broken is like his truck that only has three wheels and the little light on the top doesn’t work anymore or like the window at his old school when someone had accidentally kicked a soccer ball through it. Broken isn’t a person. Why doesn’t Grandma know that?

“Daeguni and Wonshikkie aren’t broken.” Sanghyuk tells Grandma as he pulls the door to the kitchen open. “Little boys don’t break. Little boys are messy and loud and are always up to mischief.”

He knows that because Mommy has told them so many times before. 

Mommy holds her arms open, “come here, Sanghyuk.”

He runs to her and she picks him up and cuddles him against her chest and gives him a lot of wet kisses on his cheeks. It makes him feel good. He kisses her cheeks, too, and wraps his arms tightly around her neck. He loves his Mommy very much.

“You shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.” Grandma tells him. “That’s naughty.”

“So is lying.” Sanghyuk replies. “People can’t break, Grandma. Everyone knows that.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! You can chat to me on tumblr [@dramaticdaeguni](http://www.dramaticdaeguni.tumblr.com)


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